Week 2 Scared Money Bets: Feel The Rush Of QB TDs

You know I live for the Scared Money sweats!

I want the unlikely bets. The improbable parlays. The extremely sweaty ATDs with 100/1 odds.

We had several hits last season, and I'm ready for more!

WELCOME TO THE SCARED MONEY THUNDERDOME, B*TCH.

Enter if you dare. But first, familiarize yourself with our creed.

The Scared Money Creed:

May the Odds Never Be In Your Favor: We are absolutely NOT trying to play it safe. The crazier the odds, the better.
Narratives Are EVERYTHING: Betting on something meaningless is an emotionally empty abyss. Instead, we're buying into the incredible outcomes that we want to become our reality. We're fans of the game—THAT is what drives the bet.
No wager is too small: Even the smallest wagers can give you an INCREDIBLE sweat. I don't need to risk my kid's college fund to piss all over the books and come home richer.
Remember our mantra: Scared money don't make money, baby.

We'll start easy, and amp up the odds as we move through the weekend …

Scared Money Parlay Bets for Week 2

MIN | CHI | ATL

Now, Say Sorry +529

We all know by now that the Bears dropped 59 points in Week 1. The problem comes from Colston Loveland's big ole goose egg.

But Loveland isn't the only one looking for a resurgence in Week 2. MIN put up 39 points and the only receiver to catch a ball was Justin Jefferson. And Kyle Pitts did his best Colston Loveland impression with 0-0-0 at the hands of Cooper Rush …

Colston Loveland ATD
Jordan Addison Receptions Over 2.5
Colston Loveland Receiving Yards 25+
Kyle Pitts Receptions 3+

CLE | MIA | NE | DEN

Mistakes Were Made +1192

Twenty-two interceptions were thrown in Week 1. Three alone came from Drake Maye, but there's likely more to come.

With tough matchups and a high probability of a few shootouts, I'm all in on these guys throwing more picks in Week 2.

(Note: The books didn't have INT props on Cooper Rush at the time of writing. I guess they're just going to call it a guarantee and leave it unbeatable.)

Deshaun Watson 1+ INT
Malik Willis 1+ INT
Drake Maye 1+ INT
Bo Nix 1+ INT

PHI | NYG | LV | SF

TE TDs +11178

The tight end position is thriving—even if Loveland isn't yet. These offenses know how to move the ball, but they also are expected to find big ways to get their big boys involved in Week 2.

SF | LAR | DAL | GB | KC

Touch Touch PASS +947

Could Kenneth Walker ruin this for us? Could Christian McCaffrey ruin this for us?

Sure. Anyone could. But these are all QBs I believe in for Week 2. So here's my $1 commitment to them.

2 TDs in Week 1, baby!

Brock Purdy Passing Touchdowns 2+
Matthew Stafford Passing Touchdowns 2+
Dak Prescott Passing Touchdowns 2+
Jordan Love Passing Touchdowns 2+
Patrick Mahomes Passing Touchdowns 2+

CHI | PHI | BAL | JAX

Konami Code +13027

I can guarantee that these QBs will rush for a TD this … season.

I just also want to bet on them scoring a rushing TD in Week 2.

All of them.

If you have any Scared Money Bets of your own, let me know. Drop your slips in the replies and let's see who is brave enough to take on the fiery gauntlet of +five-digit odds and who's just window shopping …