Week 8 Scared Money Parlay Bets: Don't Be Afraid Justin Herbert & The Chargers

I get a little personal in this one …

Bear with me.

WELCOME TO THE SCARED MONEY THUNDERDOME, B*TCH.

Enter if you dare. But first, familiarize yourself with our creed.

The Scared Money Creed:

May the Odds Never Be In Your Favor: We are absolutely NOT trying to play it safe. The crazier the odds, the better.
Narratives Are EVERYTHING: Betting on something meaningless is an emotionally empty abyss. Instead, we're buying into the incredible outcomes that we want to become our reality. We're fans of the game—THAT is what drives the bet.
No wager is too small: Even the smallest wagers can give you an INCREDIBLE sweat. I don't need to risk my kid's college fund to piss all over the books and come home richer.
Remember our mantra: Scared money don't make money, baby.

We'll start easy, and amp up the odds as we move through the weekend …

Scared Money Parlay Bets for Week 8

Big Blues +6000

I've been afraid to admit this … But I need to come clean.

During the offseason, I bought two Chargers hats and a Chargers sweatshirt. I wear them, secretly, inside the comfort of my own home. But it's growing harder and harder to rep an 0-6 team.

BUT I WON'T GIVE UP ON EM IN THE SCARED MONEY STREETS.

What if all they needed was a little Bye week to get through the blues? I want to go out in public again, dammit!

LA Chargers Moneyline
Justin Herbert Rushing Yards Over 23.5
Omarion Hampton Rushing Yards Over 33.5
Omarion Hampton ATD
Ladd McConkey Receiving Yards Over 46.5
Justin Herbert Passing TDs 2+
Points Total Over 45.5

Message Received +1745

This is a matchup-based parlay. Let the boys catch!

The Lions are allowing the most receptions to WRs and TEs.
The Titans are allowing the second most receptions to WRs.
The Falcons are allowing the second most receptions to RBs.
The Raiders are allowing the fourth most receptions to TEs.

T.J. Hockenson Receptions Over 4.5

Justin Jefferson Receptions Over 5.5

Tee Higgins Receptions Over 4.5

Bucky Irving Receptions Over 2.5

Mason Taylor Receptions Over 2.5

Woah. Back it up. +34848

Why bet on Chase Brown (who hasn't scored since Week 1), when you can bet on his backup (who scored last week)?

F*ck it. Let's stack up the backups.

This One's Personal +675

You guys don't have to follow me down this dark path … But at least let me explain myself.

In Peter Overzet and Tony Squares' Guillotine League^TM, Tony decided to talk sh*t. No. sorry. WHAT I MEANT TO SAY WAS: Tony, who was eliminated in Week 2, decided to talk sh*t to me, still playing the game.

But like I told the chat after getting called out: "I'm going to start Kenneth Gainwell even harder now."

And I'm going to put my money on him, too. The largest SM bet in SM history.

Because scared money don't make money, Tony!

Kenneth Gainwell Rushing Yards Over 14.5
Kenneth Gainwell Rushing + Receiving Yards Over 29.5
Kenneth Gainwell ATD

Rooting For Interceptions Is The Most Fun A Girl Can Have +9389

We just cashed on our CAR/GB interception parlay and I've never had more fun.

And this weekend Jared Goff, Patrick Mahomes and Deshaun Watson are facing some tough defenses. Baker Mayfield is going to have to sling it against a division rival. Justin Herbert has been playing like straight doodoopoopoo (Yes, I can bet for and against him simultaneously). And wouldn't a nice MNF matchup with double interceptions be icing on the cake?

Let's see if we can do it again, shall we?

What? Are you scared?

Jared Goff Interceptions Thrown 1+
Deshaun Watson Interceptions Thrown 1+
Patrick Mahomes Interceptions Thrown 1+
Justin Herbert Interceptions Thrown 1+
Baker Mayfield Interceptions Thrown 1+
Caleb Williams Interceptions Thrown 1+
Sam Darnold Interceptions Thrown 1+

If you have any Scared Money Bets of your own, let me know. Drop your slips in the replies and let's see who is brave enough to take on the fiery gauntlet of +five-digit odds and who's just window shopping …