A Playlist For Dynasty Fantasy Football Managers: Music to Guide You To A Championship

Musicians are truly the philosophers of modern times. Oh, you live your life based on the teachings of Socrates? Well, I live mine based on the chorus to “Tubthumping”. So don’t act like you’re better than me.

I’ve also found that applying the lyrics from some of my favorite songs to my dynasty fantasy football habits has yielded some fantastic results. So I’d like to share some of these gems in the hopes they’ll have the same effect on you.

Presenting: The Dynasty Manager’s Playlist, a track-by-track breakdown that comes with actionable fantasy advice straight from the recording studio. I encourage you to listen as you read along …

Track 1: “Where Is My Mind?” by Pixies

“Ask yourself // Where is my mind?”

Every great dynasty team is built on a foundation of purpose. One has to have a plan, otherwise you might as well have your feet in the air and your head on the ground.

Try this trick: Ask yourself what direction you want your team to go. Are you ready to contend for a championship? Do you need to retool one position or another? Is it time to go into full-on rebuild mode? Once you know the answer, you can start making precise moves to get closer to your end goal.

Remember: You can do anything you set your mind to. But you have to know where your mind is at first.

Track 2: “Listen To Your Heart” by Roxette

“Listen to your heart when he’s calling for you”

Data is a wonderful thing. Thoughtful analysis? Even better! This very website is chock-full of both, and I encourage you to take it all in. But sometimes all the advanced metrics and evidence-based objectivity are no match for that thing pumping away inside you.

That … came out wrong.

Point being, if your heart is telling you to go out and trade for Alec Pierce, despite all logic and reason, then you should probably do it. If you’re wrong and you lose the trade: So what? But if you’re right and you don’t make the trade? That’s a much harder pill to swallow.

Track 3: “Everywhere” by Michelle Branch

“You’re everywhere to me // And when I close my eyes, it’s you I see”

This one goes out to those of you who play in multiple leagues. I know it’s popular to “diversify your portfolio” across dynasty leagues, rostering different players in each as a way to hedge your bets.

And while I understand the concept, I gotta be honest. I hate it. I don’t want to hedge. I want to go all-in on the players that both my head and my heart agree are great fantasy assets. Mostly because it’s much easier to enjoy the games on Sunday when you’re not trying to root for 300 different outcomes, but also because I want to BELIEVE IN SOMETHING.

So no, I don’t want to roster Emeka Egbuka in just a couple of leagues. I want him everywhere.

Track 4: “Never Gonna Give You Up” by Rick Astley

“Never gonna give you up // Never gonna let you down // Never gonna run around and desert you”

Likewise, when you’re all-in on a player, it shouldn’t be easy to get them off your hands. You can say that’s stubborn. You can tell me that’s a good way to lose out on overall value. But I’ll counter with this …

A couple of years ago, before he broke out, I had Tucker Kraft on most of my teams. In one Superflex league, I needed to upgrade my QB position. Against my better judgment, I allowed Kraft to be used as a sweetener to help get a deal done. It was “fair value” and a good trade for both sides, but I’ve spent the many weeks since full of regret (and unable to get him back on my squad).

I didn’t listen to Rick Astley back then. But I hope you’ll listen to him now.

Track 5: “Forever Young” by Rod Stewart

“In my heart you will remain // Forever young”

There’s no shortage of songs about wanting to stay young. In fact, there are like eight other songs with this exact same title I could’ve chosen (apologies to Alphaville and Bob Dylan). But it’s Rod’s version that really captures the specific ethos of playing dynasty.

We’re all chasing youth. We want all the rookie picks and all the fresh talent because the worst thing that can happen to a dynasty team is to get [big gulp] OLD.

But Rod’s not talking about youth literally, and neither am I. The impulse to trade away a 27-year-old receiver who’s still in their prime for an “up-and-coming” running back can be a dangerous one. You look back at that trade in a few years and realize the receiver cruised to a few more top-15 seasons while the young running back fizzled out of the league entirely.

Youth is relative, folks.

Track 6: “Holding Out For a Hero” by Bonnie Tyler

“I need a hero // I’m holding out for a hero till the morning light // He’s gotta be sure and it’s gotta be soon”

You know that feeling you get when you stare at your roster, and something is just … missing? You’ve trimmed all the dead weight, you’ve collected a rock-solid depth at every position, but you’re not quite feeling primed for a championship.

That might mean it’s time to find yourself a hero. I’m not saying to blow up the roster you’ve spent so much time polishing. But a nice 2-for-1 trade that secures you an elite asset could put you over the edge.

RIP, Bonnie.

Track 7: “Don’t Look Back in Anger” by Oasis

“Take that look from off your face… // Don’t look back in anger // I heard you say”

You’re going to make mistakes. It’s all part of the process. If you haven’t made a stupid trade or a dumb lineup decision or dropped a player right before their big breakout … don’t worry, you will.

And when that time comes, you can either let it fill you with all-consuming rage, or you can use it as a learning experience. Or both, I suppose. The Gallagher brothers know it’s better to look forward and enjoy the journey than to regret the stumbles that happened during it.

Track 8: “You Can’t Always Get What You Want” by The Rolling Stones

“You can’t always get what you want // But if you try sometimes // Well you might find you get what you need”

I bet Mick Jagger would enjoy fantasy football. Because that crusty old pelvic thruster seems to understand its core frustrations: That sometimes our lofty expectations lead only to disappointment.

Exasperating trade negotiations, missed waiver claims, losing the championship battle in the Fantasy Life dynasty league to Cooter Doodle … this game can be tough. And it’s simply not possible for everyone in your league to get what they want.

But damnit, this game is also beautiful. And maybe if you readjust your expectations, it’ll give you exactly what you need.