Don't Be Scared, It's National Tight Ends Day! Travis Kelce and George Kittle Will Score Big in Week 8

And just like that, our Week 7 Scared Money bet on Rashee Rice's First TD Scorer and 2+ TDs last week cashed. Wasn't it fun??

I'm really growing to love our weekly sweats together. <3

I hope you're ready for a few doozies. Pull up your big boy pants and get out your spare change. Scared money don't make money, baby! And I'm ready to chase more ATDs!

The 3 Scared Money Bylaws:

May the Odds Never Be In Your Favor: We are absolutely NOT trying to play it safe. The crazier the odds, the better.
Narratives Are EVERYTHING: Betting on something meaningless is an emotionally empty abyss. Instead, we're buying into the incredible outcomes that we want to become our reality. We're fans of the game—THAT is what drives the bet.
No wager is too small: Even the smallest bets can give you an INCREDIBLE sweat if they revolve around something you believe in. In fact, the smaller the better.

Ka-Chow! +53930

A wise car once said: "You can't turn back the clock, kid. But you can wind it up again …" And I'm ready to wind up some tight end parlays again in Week 8!

IT'S NATIONAL TIGHT END DAY!

A 7-leg parlay? 54,000 odds??

Yeah. Don't fear failure, you p*ssies! Be afraid of not having the chance. And we have the chance of a lifetime ahead of us this weekend.

Just look at all the of TEs who scored on National Tight End Day in 2024:

Nate Adkins: 1-3-1
Mark Andrews: 5-36-1
Tyler Conklin: 3-42-1
Evan Engram: 4-36-1
Travis Kelce: 10-90-1
Dalton Kincaid: 4-31-1
George Kittle: 6-128-1
Tucker Kraft: 3-78-1
Sam LaPorta: 6-48-1
David Njoku: 5-61-1
Cade Otton: 9-81-2
Kyle Pitts: 4-91-2
Adam Trautman: 3-73-1
Brock Wright: 1-8-1

Remember: The sweat is the reward. But if this one hits, the reward will be pretty, pretty, pretty tight.

7-leg parlay:

Company Woman +59822

When Matthew Berry says there are 10 facts we need to know about Week 8, I listen. The long-story-short of it all is simple: I'm a company woman.

10 facts = 10-leg parlay:

ATL Falcons Moneyline
Bijan Robinson Rush + Rec Yards: 110+
Bo Nix Passing TDs: OVER 1.5
Jaxson Dart ATD
DeVonta Smith ATD
KC Chiefs Moneyline
Jacory Croskey-Merritt Rush Yards: UNDER 47.5
Kraft ATD
Otton ATD
Zay Flowers Receptions: OVER 5.5

Good-Bye Week, Hello ATDs +3791

We're working our way through a brutal week of teams on bye in Week 8:

ARI Cardinals
DET Lions
JAX Jaguars
LV Raiders
LA Rams
SEA Seahawks

DON'T BE SCARED.

You're not alone. Thousands of us are hoping for these RB2s to succeed in Week 8.

Anytime Touchdowns—3 legs

Double Dose +26637

Yes, you're seeing double.

Let me break down a couple of double fun facts.

Double Dose of Dolphins Facts:

Miami allowed 3 TDs to Quinshon Judkins in Week 7.
In week 8, Miami faces the CMC of Atlanta: Bijan Robinson.

Double Dose of Broncos Facts:

The Broncos allowed 154 yards and 2 TDs to the TE position in Week 7.
The Broncos face Jake Ferguson in Week 8, and he has scored 2 TDs in two out of his last three games.

Double Dose of Rashee Rice Facts:

In his first game back, Rashee Rice saw 27% of the Chiefs' target share and 50% of their end zone targets.
Rice went 7-42-2 against the Raiders and now faces the Commanders, who are allowing 34.5 FPPG to WRs.

2+ Touchdowns—3 legs

Bijan Robinson 2+ TDs
Rashee Rice 2+ TDs
Jake Ferguson 2+ TDs

Don't Question It +44790

Ah, what the hell.

In TRUE honor of National Tight Ends Day, let's throw in one last TE-only parlay for the guys who have some real question marks looming around their future in Week 8.

The Commanders offense is looking shaky.
David Njoku could be the TE1 if he suits up.
Dalton Kincaid is questionable, but not ruled out.
Dallas Goedert might not be fully healthy?
And … Colston Loveland is still waiting for that "breakout" game.

Whether it's their health or their depth chart position in flux, we're not going to question it.

Anytime Touchdowns—5 legs

Zach Ertz ATD +225
Harold Fannin Jr. ATD +320
Dawson Knox +240
Dallas Goedert ATD +165
Colston Loveland ATD +265

Scared Money side effects may include rooting for RB2s, nausea and extreme fourth-quarter sweats. More serious side effects may include increased heart rate, high blood pressure and swelling inside of your pants as the parlays come close to hitting. Scared Money Bets are not recommended for pregnant or nursing women as they might forget they are pregnant or nursing during the final quarter of the game. Ask your doctor if Scared Money bets are right for you.