Turkey Legs: Five Longshot Player Prop Parlays For Thanksgiving NFL Games

Take a big hit of tryptophan and follow me down this sweaty rabbit hole! We’ve got all the parlays you need to feel alive while you’re stuck at home for the holiday.

May the odds never be in our favor. Narratives are everything. And no wager is too small.

It’s Scared Money - Thanksgiving Edition.

1. The Drunkle (+9880)

Like your drunk uncle getting sloshed at Thanksgiving, these bets are all but guaranteed.

But today is different. I’ve cooked up some of the best legs, but YOU have to build your metaphorical parlay plate.

It’s simple: Pick the legs you believe in most and leave the ones you don’t. As for me? I put them all together for a stupidly sweaty +9880 13-leg parlay.

• Jahmyr Gibbs ATD -200
• Rashee Rice ATD -135
• Derrick Henry ATD -220
• Zay Flowers ATD +115
• Jordan Love 200+ passing yards -243
• Lamar Jackson 2+ passing TDs -212
• Joe Burrow 250+ passing yards -128
• Patrick Mahomes 260+ passing yards -133
• Travis Kelce 4+ receptions -434
• Zay Flowers 4+ receptions -392
• Ja’Marr Chase 90+ receiving yards -128
• Rashee Rice 60+ receiving yards -200
• George Pickens 60+ receiving yards -204

2. The One Where Joey Gets a Turkey Stuck On His Head (+286)

Joey B is back, baby! And just in time for turkey!

But let’s not forget that Joe Flacco was averaging more fantasy points per game (before CIN’s Bye) than Joe Burrow ever had during his NFL career. Yikes. But facts are facts.

So what will it be? Is Joe Burrow going to return to action and save the Bengals from their 3-8 season? Will he come back and break their 4-week losing streak? Will he throw 3 TDs to Ja’Marr Chase?

Or… Will his offensive line force him to stick his head in the turkey and get stuffed?

4 underwhelming legs:

• Joe Burrow Passing Yards Under 254.5
• Ja’Marr Chase Receiving Yards Under 93.5
• BAL Ravens Moneyline
• Joe Burrow Passing Completions Under 23.5

3. Fowl Play (+4716)

These are some truly wretched outcomes that I would never want to happen. But if Davante Adams can score(read: steal) 8 TDs within the 5-yard line… Anything is possible, right?

What could be worse than a Kyren Williams styled TD snub on Turkey Day?

I’ll tell ya!

• Andre Iosivas ATD
• Isiah Pacheco ATD
• Brock Wright ATD

Wouldn’t it be fantastically foul if these dudes scored?

4. Giving Thanks (+908)

This one’s simple.

It’s time to give thanks to some players who have put up RB1 or WR1 performances this year.

Thank you Jahmyr Gibbs for your 264 yards and 3 TD rushing and receiving performance in Week 12. Thank you Ja’Marr Chase for your 16-161-1 performance in Week 7. Thank you Derrick Henry for your 18-169-2 performance in Week 1. Thank you George Pickens for Week 6’s 9-168-1.

Now…. Do it again, boys!

• Jahmyr Gibbs ATD
• Ja’Marr Chase ATD
• Derrick Henry ATD
• George Pickens ATD

5. Have Your Pie and Eat It 2 (+1784)

Maybe the boys can do it again for us? They’ve scored 2 TDs multiple times this year. We just need it to happen on the same day, in front of all of our families!

Imagine how cool you’ll look at the dinner table when Drunk Uncle and the rest of the fam get to join in on the sweat with you!

• Jahmyr Gibbs 2+ TDs
• Derrick Henry 2+ TDs
• Patrick Mahomes Passing TDs 2+

Scared Money side effects may include rooting for 13-leg parlays during dinner, nausea, and extreme 4th quarter sweats. More serious side effects may include increased heart rate, high blood pressure, and swelling inside of your pants as the parlays come close to hitting. Scared Money Bets are not recommended for pregnant or nursing women as they might forget they are pregnant or nursing during the final quarter of the game. Ask your doctor if Scared Money bets are right for you.