In today's Fantasy Life Newsletter, presented by Hims:
Alright, quiet down, everyone. Let’s do a little roll call here before we start …
Kirk … Kirk Cousins? Is Kirk here?
Ah, yes, there you are hiding in the back. We’re glad you finally decided to join us. I know ideally, you’d like to be starting somewhere else, but we are glad you made it.
“You don’t pout or stop. You just keep moving. Keep looking forward …”
That’s a great attitude to have, Kirk. I’m proud of you.
How about Mr. Cook? James Cook? Do we have a James in attendance?
Oh, look at that, there you are. What a pleasant surprise. I had heard through the grapevine that you had put your house up for sale, so I was a little worried that we wouldn’t be seeing you anymore. Why are you fanning your dollar bills at me?
“I like my money, that’s why I’m here.”
Fair enough, I can’t argue with that. Please put the money away, though.
Um, how about Terry … Terry McLaurin … Terry?
… Bueller? Bueller?!
“He ain’t coming. He wants a new deal.”
I appreciate that update, Deebo. If you hear anything else, be sure to let us know because otherwise we’re going to be forced to give Luke McCaffrey a full-time route share, and absolutely no one wants that.
Oh, and last but not least, Dobbins … J.K. Dobbins?
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Regression in Tampa Bay? What Regression?
Baker Mayfield can’t possibly do it again, not with the Buccaneers changing their offensive coordinator in the offseason.
Only this is what we heard this time last year, when he then passed for 4,500 yards and 41 TDs on the way to finishing tied for QB3 on the season. Are you believing in him doing it again? And then there’s Mike Evans, he of 11 seasons with 1,000+ receiving yards. With health, just chalk him up for 1K.
Ian Hartitz continues his team preview series with the NFC South, starting with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. With four straight division titles, the Bucs are loaded up to take another shot at the crown. Ian’s preview lays it all out. ⬇️
WHERE DOES THE FIRST-ROUND WR FIT IN?
Drinking and Drafting? Not So Fast!
Are you losing interest in your league? Struggling to get trades across the finish line? Unhappy with how your draft turns out year after year?
Going back to the basics is the easy fix—even as the seasoned fantasy football player you are—starting with the most important (and potentially controversial) tip of them all from Freedman …
Don't Drink During the Draft
What's the kind of thing that a "fake friend" would do to give himself a better chance of winning at fantasy?
Oh, I don't know, maybe offering to host the in-person draft at your place, providing everyone with alcohol, and then dominating the draft because you decided to stay sober under the auspices of “I'm hosting the event, I don't want to drink because I need to be a capable master of the house, and I also must make sure that all you drunk morons get home safely after I legally rob you in the draft.”
Don't act like a sociopath … but definitely be a sociopath.
All kidding aside: Consider not drinking during the draft. Most people tend to make suboptimal decisions when imbibing alcohol.
If you drink during the draft and then make a dumb decision, then you'll need to live with that decision for the rest of the season. And maybe even the rest of your life.
I know it's fun to hang out with your buddies while eating buffalo wings, drinking tasty adult beverages, and pretending that elite athletes who make millions of dollars actually play for your team—but if you can resist the temptation, don't drink while drafting.
And if your leaguemates just so happen to drink while drafting, then all the better for you.
Also, this is kind of related: Maybe avoid eating any rich or uncommon foods before or during your draft. The last thing you want to do is autodraft a supermajority of your team because you need to spend time on the toilet.
Just saying.
Get right for the upcoming draft season. ⬇️
Around the Watercooler
The latest NFL news and fantasy football analysis from our merry band of football nerds
😆 Myles Garrett is ready to sack Aaron Rodgers. Love it.
🤑 The Vikings ink a TE to a new deal. Nice for JJ and the o-line.
🤳 Can I interest you in a recent photo of a TE and his megastar girlfriend? Here ya go.
🖐️ Or how about a one-handed grab from a rookie WR? That’ll do.
😷 Deion Sanders is dealing with an illness. Concerning news.
